The Mega Long Weekend Triple Threat Review Special:
Guns 'n' Roses - Appetite For Destruction (1987)
Steel Panther - Balls Out (2011)
Velvet Revolver - Contraband (2004)
This was certainly a very interesting long weekend. Myself, my two bandmates from Geronimo and my bass player's brother headed up to Robinvale for the weekend, ostensibly to play two gigs but also to enjoy a ski race and others' company. This did have me worrying slightly as to how I was going to maintain the LOAD Project rage.
The best way? Have the bandmates set the albums.
So today's mega review represents albums 67, 68 and 69 (if only Steel Panther was album 69, that would be a delicious irony, LOL DELICIOUS 69.) Each review is heavily abbreviated, partly for space reasons, partly because I'm interested to see how I summarise each album up as briefly as possible.
The Appetite For Destruction review also features guest comments from Pete (PG) and Harri (HL), my comrades in Geronimo.
So....here we go.
Appetite For Destruction
Sprawling, magnificent glam-style hard rock, built around kickass riffs, MAD SOLOS and the high-pitched vocals of Axl Rose. There are moments that verge on the sublime, such as Sweet Child 'o Mine ("The opening riff speaks for itself" - HL; "As does the bass line" - PG), the rollicking headbanging of Paradise City (the last two minutes is some of the most supercharged in all of rock, as Slash solos LIKE A DAMN BOSS over a flying sped-up version of the track's main riff), the high-octane rock of Nightrain ("It's about an actual high-alcohol wine the band used to drink" - HL) or the slide-guitar playing, Axl shagging some chick and putting the audio into the bridge of the song craziness of Rocket Queen. And how can I forget the band's ode to heroin, Mr Brownstone, with its wicked drumming and guitar wizardry.
Basically all the stuff people have said about this album is true. It's a magnificent work and a brilliant rock album. I didn't really like My Michelle but that was about it.
Standout tracks: Paradise City, Rocket Queen, Mr Brownstone
My rating: *****
Balls Out
If you don't like Steel Panther, either for their pure adherence and aping of the 80s hair/glam metal ethos, sound and execution or their frankly ridiculous lyrics that are like machismo on steroids, I suggest you have a checkup because you may be clinically dead. They make The Darkness look like Andre Rieu, and even if just about every song can be boiled down to "WE ARE STEEL PANTHER AND WE HAVE LARGE PENISES AND WE FUCK EVERYTHING THAT MOVES AND IT FUCKS US" it's wrapped up in such fucking awesome rock riffs and soaring vocals that you just don't care.
It's hard to identify specific songs that rule, so many are great (even if they are one note jokes) but the great moments on the album are either monstrous falsetto vocals, wild shredding guitar solos or astoundingly funny lyrics. It simply has to be checked out by anyone who loves guitar rock music.
The only negative is the appearance by noted musical loser Chad Kroeger on the otherwise cool It Won't Suck Itself.
Standout Tracks: Tomorrow Night, It Won't Suck Itself, Just Like Tiger Woods
My rating: **** and a half
Contraband
The second GnR related album of the long weekend, Velvet Revolver is basically the Gunners but they subbed Scott Weiland of Stone Temple Pilots in for Axl. The result is not quite what I expected; at times it plays like a GnR album, but rarely. It seems to lack the tuneful quality of Appetite, although Slash comes to the party with his typical guitar heroics. Instead, there's a good selection of solid, but unspectacular, rock tunes that follow the standard rock song structure.
Additionally, while Weiland is good and everything, he's no Axl (well, no late 80s Axl, anyway). He also seems to lack the ballsy quality to his vocal that he frequently exhibited as a Pilot.
It's a pretty solid listen, but in comparison to the other two long weekend albums, it's a bit of a fizzer, really.
Standout Tracks: Big Machine, Fall To Pieces
My rating: ***
So, there you go. The three albums listened to in Robinvale. Thanks to Haz, Potsy and Sean for their awesome company, and if I can convince them, hopefully Haz and Potsy will join me on a future review in The LOAD Project!
"We had a good laugh" - HL
"Fucken awesome" - PG
Tomorrow's album is a change of pace, as we tackle a member of Bowie's Berlin trilogy.
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