Album #143: Nik Kershaw - The Riddle

Nik Kershaw

The Riddle (1984)

Begin your reading of today's review by visiting this link : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fx9SLfXAudY.

You're welcome.

Anyway, Nik Kershaw is a fairly typical example of an 80s New Wave pop star - burst onto the scene with a big hit, followed it up with a couple of smaller hits, then......gone. He still knocks about making music but his glory days are long gone. The Riddle was his second album, and it's best known for its mystifying title track.

(I also remember seeing a scarf saying NIK KERSHAW - THE RIDDLE waved around at Live Aid....yep somebody had a NIK KERSHAW SCARF and waved it football style.)

It's today's review, though I'm not sure how serious I'll be given I've listened to a glorious piece of comedy prior to reviewing it....

The Album

The 1980s have a lot to answer for.

For example, allowing this to be successful.

The Riddle is 42 minutes of TRIPLE SYNTH MASTERY, where Kershaw may or may not be on a flat bed truck (you don't get this, do you? YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO THE LINK ABOVE, DID YOU?) There are sparing moments of quality, where it seems like Kershaw actually knows what he's doing, but on the whole it's horrible, dated crap.

Those few positive moments are specks of gold in a river of shit. The Riddle is a genuinely great New Wave pop song; a really catchy guitar/synth riff that repeats throughout the song's choruses, and a decent vocal from Kershaw, who is certainly a capable singer. The lyrics are nonsensical but deliberately so, and pleasingly there's no great mystery or hidden metaphor - it's a guide vocal that was never changed, and it goes well with the title. Roses features some classy tuned percussion work, and on the whole it's unusually minimalist and dark in its composition (bar some typical syrupy MEGA SYNTH moments here and there). You Might is also a genuinely good tune, an upbeat tempo helping it on its way, but it's the emphasis on guitar over synth that gives it a real edge, because the guitars have plenty of bite and underpin the song, while the synths act as a textural accompaniment.

Honourable mentions must also go to Easy and Wide Boy, both decent, catchy slices of synth pop with nice hooks and plenty of pep.

The stinkers though are deplorable. The worst by far is Save The Whale, a six minute treatise about (you guessed it) saving the whale (though I fail to see what good saving a single whale is - what about the rest, Kershaw? NAH FUCK THEM I GUESS.) Musically it's a dirge, with a plodding tempo and 'synth' whale song notes, while lyrically it contains such gold as, "In turquoise inner space/the giants live with grace", and "Jesus Christ Almighty/Save the whale/For all our sakes/Save the whale". City of Angels is dull and uninspired, sounding like a cheap show tune rip off that's been 'updated' to the 1980s, Wild Horses is cliche incarnate, Know How decides the key to WOWING US is with thirty-five WALLS OF SYNTHS all on top of each other (answer: it's not) and Don Quixote is poorly produced noise (I mean come on. I get you want TRIPLE SYNTH MASTERY but when you can't hear the vocals over all of your synths you're probably fucking up your production of the album.

The Verdict

Stay in the 1980s, Mr. Kershaw. That's where you belong. Avoid this album apart from a few tracks.

My rating: 4.2/10

Standout Tracks

The Riddle

You Might

Roses

Album #139: The Black Keys - Turn Blue

The Black Keys

Turn Blue (2014)

When Ohioans The Black Keys first came out in 2002, they garnered cult attention because of their stripped back, lo-fi, raw bluesy sound (created by just a drummer and a guitarist/vocalist). For the majority of their first four studio albums, this was the band's blueprint - gutsy, edgy, ballsy blues rock, with a seriously dirty aesthetic....but there was something undeniably real about The Black Keys' music. Its rawness gave it an imperfect quality that was part of its charm.

Well, that and it fucking rocked.

The writing was on the wall though with Brothers; the band's sound was ever so slowly changing to include heavy keyboards and more lavish production values, thanks to their collaboration with producer Danger Mouse. This continued (combined with a decision to write hooky hit singles) on the allegedly quite critically popular El Camino. 

The band's latest release, Turn Blue, keeps this lavish production going, again thanks to Danger Mouse's obsession with keyboards. Though this time, the hooks and sharpness of El Camino have been replaced with moody introspection and psychedelia. Does this represent the next stage of The Black Keys' 'evolution', or are there signs that the magic of old is on the wane?

The Album

The magic isn't on the wane, it's on fucking life support. Those early hallmarks are all but dead; where once the music burned with ballsy blues, today it simpers with snotty synthesised pop. Where once guitarist Dan Auerbach's axe sounded like a series of tuned chainsaws scything their way through a forest of rock and roll, today it is reduced to jangly chords buried under layers of keyboard, only briefly peeping out to show its stuff. There's no dry, lo-fi feel anymore, because The Black Keys have joined the ranks of the slickly-produced, commercially appealing. It probably doesn't help either that Auerbach's marriage was disintegrating during recording, because that too contributes to the sad, moroseness enveloping the album's sound.

And I for one think that's a fucking shame, because anything from Thickfreakness, Rubber Factory or even Attack & Release is more interesting, entertaining and dynamic than the entirety of Turn Blue. For that we must blame Danger Mouse; rather than letting the essence of The Black Keys be at the forefront of the songs, it must instead be buried under layers of keyboard. At times (Turn Blue, Fever and 10 Lovers especially) the band are less earthy blues rock and more synth/dancepop band and that is an absolute travesty against music; to reduce two men with a gift for filthy, muscular blues to little more than the 21st Century version of Roxette with guitars is fucking disgusting. Other times, like on the potentially good but not quite there In Time, the songs are crying out for production restraint, to let the sombre, introspective guitar tone tell the story and carry the song...except Danger Mouse has to RUIN EVERYONE'S SHIT with his fucked up 80s pop keyboards. And when they're not playing synthpop, they're playing fairly predictable, safe guitar pop (Gotta Get Away, the Flaming Lipsesque Waiting On Words and Year In Review), though even these tunes are decent; Gotta Get Away in particular is the only uptempo, rollicking moment on the album, with a decent little solo from Auerbach, while Year In Review features a great introspective lyric.

The album's three shining moments occur almost by accident. Two of them are remarkably psychedelic space rock in nature, while the third (It's Up To You Now) is one of only two non-Danger Mouse produced tracks (the other, unsurprisingly, is the rollicking keys-free Gotta Get Away.) Opening track Weight Of Love sounds eerily like early to mid 70s Pink Floyd, and that's not just because The Black Keys have basically stolen the chord progression from the Floyd's Breathe, but the acoustic guitars, simplistic Roger Waters-style bass, wailing guitar work and drummer Patrick Carney's Nick Mason impressions on the kit essentially make this a pure copy of the Floydian psychedelic sound. Nevertheless it's a great song, with two superb solos from Auerbach. Bullet In The Brain is also terrific psychedelic pop/rock, with spooky space rock keyboards, more Mason-style adventures from Carney and some haunting, hollow reverb-drenched vocals. It's Up To You Now is the only song that calls to mind the earlier sounds of the band; rumbling rhythms from Carney's toms, buzzy guitar (and supporting keyboard - SUPPORTING, Mr Danger Mouse, not DOMINATING THE GODDAMNED MIX PISSING EVERYONE OFF YOU ARSEHAT), some thick, chunky blues riffs and an equally meaty Auerbach solo. It was the only time in 45 minutes that I felt like I was actually listening to the same Black Keys who recorded songs like Have Love, Will Travel and I Got Mine.

The Verdict

No doubt Triple M are fucking falling over themselves to fellate the latest singles from The Black Keys. Additionally, I'm sure critics are falling over themselves to laud this as a 'masterpiece' and 'nuanced' and 'evidence of their continued evolution as a band to a more mainstream aesthetic'.

FUCK. ALL. THAT. BULLSHIT.

Turn Blue is decidedly poor, the sound of a band being ruined by a combination of wanktastic production and some sort of sick desire to become the new Duran Duran or something. There's very little here to recommend to anyone - old school lovers of the Black Keys (like me) will find that the fucking raucous edge that made them so appealing has been dulled completely, while people who thought that El Camino was their first album won't find any simple rocking hooks here.

I'm sure you wanted to make a moody, introspective album about your heartbreak, Dan......if only there were a style of music perfectly suited to tales of heartbreak, revenge, love and loss....perhaps with the name of a colour in it.....blues maybe.......

My rating: 4.8/10

Standout Tracks

Gotta Get Away

Weight of Love

It's Up To You Now

Album #128: Pseudo Echo - Love An Adventure

Pseudo Echo

Love An Adventure (1985)

Pseudo Echo sprung up in the mid 1980s in the midst of the synth-pop New Wave explosion, acting as Australia's answer to Duran Duran, Ultravox and The Human League. Bearing more hair than a Tina Turner lookalike contest, and sporting cool fashions of the time (just look at that album cover for proof), they were rather popular with the young, hip musical set, and not just because of their look; but also because of their easily accessible, inoffensive, club-ready synthpop.

Love An Adventure was the band's second album, released in 1985. In terms of the commercial success of the songs on the album, it's probably Pseudo Echo's best, sporting several Top 20 singles, and the international smash Funky Town. Today I bring a review of it to you.

The Album

The sound of the album can best be summed up like this:

SYNTH SYNTH SYNTH SYNTH

GATED REVERB HEXAGONAL DRUMS

SYNTH SYNTH SYNTH SYNTH

guitar

SYNTH SYNTH GATED REVERB HEXAGONAL DRUMS SYNTH SYNTH

It's wall to wall synthesiser lines that harmonise, duel and cross over each other, with groove-setting bass and the occasional flecks of guitar for texture. Actually, that's slightly unfair - there are a couple of cracking guitar solos on the album that are both welcome and energetic. Vocalwise, Brian Canham is no star, merely serviceable. In fact, that probably sums up the band and pretty much all of their material - serviceable.

The only times that Pseudo Echo lift themselves above the banal are where the songs either have an extra bit of verve, or where there's an undeniable hook. Funky Town was an international smash for a reason - it takes a fairly placid, lame disco track and reinvents it as a rocking, synth-heavy party tune. In fact, it's far more grooveable than the original disco track, which is funny given that disco was supposed to be the ultimate dancing music. Its cracking guitar solo is the icing on the cake. Listening is synthpop done right - verses that utilise a darker chord progression, a chorus hook that's easily singable and some pulsating bass work - as is Destination Unknown, which has a good tempo and some pleasing synth and guitar licks.

There are also attempts to try something different. Lonely Without You tries to be a tender love ballad, and it's not a bad attempt, but somewhere, somebody forgot to tell the band that tender love ballads don't often have grating SYNTH SYNTH lines all over the place that kinda ruin the tender mood you're creating, distracting you from all that introspective sadness (though in fairness, the saxophone solo at the end rescues the song). Love an Adventure tries to be all moody and atmospheric, and combine this feeling with some groove-laden, uptempo pop....and again it's not bad, except for the GATED REVERB HEXAGONAL DRUMS destroying the atmosphere with all the GATED REVERBverbverbverbverb.....

Everything else is pretty much just bog-standard synthpop, except for the truly tedious I Will Be You, which is five minutes (FIVE FUCKING MINUTES) of the blandest synthpop you've ever heard.

The Verdict

Love An Adventure is a relic of the 80s, encapsulating many of the sounds, production techniques and instruments that were a key component of the 80s synthpop sound.

The 1980s is probably where they should stay. Albums like this simply sound extraordinarily dated - even the good tracks, while they're still good, sound a little out of place nowadays.

Get Funkytown and Listening, maybe Destination Unknown and Lonely Without You, don't worry about the rest because you're not missing much.

My rating: 4.8/10

Standout Tracks

Funkytown

Listening

Destination Unknown