Album #149: The Specials - The Specials

The Specials

The Specials (1979)

2 Tone legends/creators The Specials were largely responsible for the ska explosion in Britain in the late 1970. Coming at the same time as punk music, the band's ethos was all about anti-racism and integrating black and white people at a time when British society was running rife with a racist streak (the abhorrently racist National Front were experiencing significant support at this time.) It was 2 Tone that brought ska into the mainstream; firstly with The Specials, then with acts like The Selecter, Madness and The Beat...but it was the label's inventors who were their biggest and best act.

Their debut album came a couple of years after their birth in Coventry, and after they had already garnered the attention of Joe Strummer and Elvis Costello (the latter produced this album). Let's take a journey through its ska/reggae/rocksteady/rockabilly flavours...

The Album

The great thing about this album, apart from its inherent sense of fun, its danceability and its melodic excellence, the wonderful contributions of every member, and the sheer catchiness of the majority of the songs, is the variety of styles presented by The Specials. There's ska (Monkey Man, (Dawning Of A) New Era, Little Bitch, Stupid Marriage), rocksteady (A Message To You Rudy, Too Hot, Blank Expression), reggae (Doesn't Make It Alright), punk lite (Do The Dog) and rockabilly (Concrete Jungle). All of them are driven by the intricate bass of Sir Horace Gentleman, the rugged lead guitar of Roddy Radiation, the rhythmic guitar work of Lynval Golding, the powerful/deft drumming of John Bradbury, the vocal stylings of Terry Hall and Neville Staple, and the bubbling keyboard of Jerry Dammers.

In short, every member contributes flavour to every song; it's a real full-band album, and you wouldn't know from listening to it that the band, for the most part, have never really liked each other.

The pick of the tracks are the raucous, pumping Monkey Man, the equally raucous and snarlingly lyrical Little Bitch, the superbly catchy rocksteady of Blank Expression and the speedy, yet enormously fun, (Dawning Of A) New Era (which notably provided Melbourne ska band Area-7 with their name). That's not to say other tracks aren't also good, or don't have fantastic elements; Neville Staple's performance as "Judge Roughneck" on Stupid Marriage is a highlight, as is Terry Hall's defiant call to arms vocal performance on Do The Dog. Roddy Radiation's lead guitar work is particularly outstanding also on Concrete Jungle (which he himself wrote and sang on the album). 

It's not all beer and skittles though. The version of Too Much Too Young on the album is slow....too damn slow, in fact. Those familiar with the faster, catchier, skankier single version would hear the album version and bemoan the lack of tempo and urgency; it also suits the song's themes of teenage pregnancy and the importance of contraception much better. It's the worst song on the album by a distance and that's a shame because the single version is kickarse. Too Hot is a little boring, despite Hall and Staple's dual lead vocal, while closer You're Wondering Now, while lyrically it's the perfect album (and gig) closer, manages to end a fairly joyous, sunny album on a bit of a downer.

Lastly of note is that aforementioned social conscience. The Specials were not, at this point, the massive social commentators they later became, but there is evidence of this future development on the album. Songs like Too Much Too Young, Stupid Marriage, Concrete Jungle and Do The Dog show, through their lyrics, an awareness of contemporary social issues and a courage to pass comment on those issues. It was something that bandleader Dammers would continue to explore, and was part of the reason why just two years after the release of this album, Hall, Staple and Golding left to form the Fun Boy Three.

The Verdict

If you've never heard a ska album, this is the perfect place to start. If you have, and it's more recent ska, then this album is essential listening because this is the birth of the modern ska sound (even if it is entirely rooted in Jamaican reggae and rocksteady of the 60s.

My rating: 7.4/10

Standout Tracks

(Dawning Of A) New Era

Little Bitch

Monkey Man

"Album" #148: The Eurovision Song Contest 2014 Super Special Part Two!

The Eurovision Song Contest 2014

Super Special Part Two

A few days ago, I reviewed the first half of this year's Eurovision Song Contest. One of the notable things about the rejected songs and the shockers that do fail badly in the final is that they are either surprisingly good, or utterly terrible. There also tends to be, as the contest goes on and gets towards the winner, less utterly crap songs and more schlocky, bog standard trashy Europop, and it invariably all ends up sounding much the same.

Was 2014 different? Will this be a year where the top ten songs are all high quality jams, full of amazing hooks and melodic mastery? Or will we get shit like this? Let's find out.

The Songs and Verdicts and General Observations

18th - Elaiza (Germany) with Is It Right

Decidedly not shit neofolk with typical pop structures and hooks. The use of traditional instruments is good, and not in an Ireland type DROWN IT OUT kind of way. 5/10

17th - Molly (United Kingdom) with Children of the Universe

So string. Very anthem. Much grandiose. NOT WOW. Get your own anthemic chant without ripping off John Lennon. Three minutes of cliche jammed up the wazoo. 4/10

16th - Teo (Belarus) with Cheesecake

Teo does not want to be cheesecake. Therefore he is leaving his relationship due to his desire not to be cheesecake. It's like something Paolo Nutini would write if he suddenly became a completely talentless hack. 3/10

15th - Pollaponk (Iceland) with No Prejudice

Its light skatepunk influences are decent, though for the most part it's closer to fun Smashmouth type 90s rock radio. The inclusion of porn guitar is an absolute winner. Catchy stuff from the Anti-Hives and one of the standout tracks of Eurovision 2014. 7/10

14th - Donatan and Cleo (Poland) with We Are Slavic

Vomitous tuneless bile that needed a milkmaid with E-cups suggestively working a butter churn (by 'suggestively' I mean 'she looked like she was lasciviously wanking you off') to gain any votes from Europe. That this finished 14th is both an affront to music and a tribute to the power of hot blondes with big boobs dressed as milkmaids. Fucking terrible "music". 0/10

13th - Sebalter (Switzerland) with Hunter of Stars

In a Eurovision full of lame neofolkpop, it takes something extraordinarily terrible to be considered the shittiest lame neofolkpop. Stop fucking whistling and let the violin player play some more, because the violin solo is INFUCKINGSANE. 2/10

12th - Paula Seving and Ovi (Romania) with Miracle

Far from the worst EURODANCEPOPMEGACHORUSHOOK song that's ever been in Eurovision. Manages to pump out that trashy electropop sound that only Eurovision can manage while maintaining melody and a decent hook. One bonus point for an effective key change. 5.5/10

11th - Softengine (Finland) with Something Better

BEHOLD as some dudes from Finland blatantly steal Panic at the Disco's emo themes and sounds. It would be okay if it wasn't TOO FUCKING LOUD, so loud that it obliterates any kind of musical nuance. Disappointing as it had potential to be decent. 4/10

10th - Ruth Lorenzo (Spain) with Dancing in the Rain

A bit like the Romanian entry, it's anthemic booming Eurosynthpop albeit with a slower tempo and a mournful piano entree. Unlike the Romanian entry it has no energy or bounce whatsoever. Good voice though. 5/10

9th - Basim (Denmark) with Cliche Love Song

Look no further for lyrical mastery than this song ("Shoobiedoobiedopbop/Badoobiedawopbop/I love you"). Pleasant radiofriendly pop but hardly memorable. 5.5/10

8th - Carl Espen (Norway) with Silent Storm

Emotionally wrenching music with over-reverberated lyrics and minimalist sad sweeping piano arrangements. At least it is until Phil Spector's Norwegian cousin Olaf kicks in with a MASSIVE WALL OF STRINGS that somehow don't manage to make the song anything other than totally boring. 3.5/10

7th - Tolmachevy Sisters (Russia) with Shine

In the words of Europe: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Like most songs today, it is so boring it evokes no feeling. Even outright hatred seems like too much effort for this bland, forgettable dirge. Though Europe, it appears, disagree (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO). 2/10

6th - Mariya Yaremchuk (Ukraine) with Tick-Tock

The performance featured a man dancing in a hamster wheel. Why? Fuck knows. Maybe it's an allegory for the Ukrainian political crisis. Or alternatively the Ukraine realised they needed something to distract from the cookie-cutter cliche pop lyrics and equally cliched production. 3/10

5th - Andras Kallay-Saunders (Hungary) with Running

Sure, the dude thinks he's Craig David, and he's got a really smooth, soulful voice; in fact I think he's probably better than singing the fifth place Eurovision song. Unfortunately the song he's singing doesn't quite measure up, even if it's a creditable effort to actually implement changing dynamics by shifting between emotional balladry and pumping dance tune. Far from the worst tune. 6.5/10

4th - Aram MP3 (Armenia) with Not Alone

Rubbish lyrics and FUCKING STUPID FUCKING DUBSTEP SHIT aside, buried under the crappy dubstep is a rather subtle pop ballad with actual attention and care paid to its composition. The dynamic shift from ballad to DUBSTEP WOOO is slow, careful and builds tension well, as the synths, strings and horns add to each other like a wave. Got a great vocal too. A worthy Top 5 tune. 6/10

And now, the Top 3...........

3rd - Sanna Nielsen (Sweden) with Undo

A boring, repetitive and ultimately safe Eurovision tune. It's perfect for Eurovision though, because it is safe, grand pop that is magnificently sung by the talented Nielsen. Compared to the two previous songs that at least took a few risks, it is dull and lifeless. 4/10

2nd - The Common Linnets (Netherlands) with Calm After The Storm

Times must be tough for Angus and Julia Stone if they are now pretending to be Dutch and foisting their crap brand of lame acoustofolk on the world.

What do you mean it's not Angus and Julia Stone? 4/10

And....at number 1.....THE WINNER WAS.....

Conchita Wurst (Austria) with Rise Like A Phoenix

Do me a favour. Listen to this song, but close your eyes. Picture naked female silhouettes swimming out of silhouetted guns and doing the breaststroke in between the words "SEAN" and "CONNERY". 

Why?

It's a Bond theme. Listen to the overly dramatic, theatrical strings, horns and soaring vocals and tell me this DOES NOT SOUND LIKE A BOND THEME.

It's a worthy winner though.  6/10

So there you have it, the 37 songs from Eurovision 2014 reviewed and rated. All that's really left to say is that JAMES BOND EUROVISION WILL RETURN IN 2015.

Album #147: Pavement - Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain

Pavement

Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain (1994)

There comes a time in every music lover's life when he just wants to be left alone, to live in relative peace and harmony, free from the neverending nagging and badgering of others. A time when he can enjoy serenity. A time when he can finally satisfy the needs of others and in so doing fill a gap in his own life.

That time has come today because I'm finally going to listen to a Pavement album and get EVERY SINGLE PERSON who has ever said or written, "hey you should listen to Pavement", off my case. So this better be good, because if it's not, I'm going to be sorely disappointed, and I am going to personally make it my mission to discredit every single thing Robert Christgau has said because he thinks Pavement are the ultimate band of the 90s.

The Album

The words I would use to describe Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain are sloppy, messy, chaotic and loose.

I would also use the term 'remarkably carefree'.

I think viewed through those lenses, it's understandable why it has received such high praise, because it's almost the manifesto for underground indie rock - unpolished and rough, yet full of immensely creative musical craft. For the most part, creative force Stephen Malkmus has created an album here full of fire, fury and fizz, where the nods to classic rock are easily found even while there's not a single song that sounds like a ripoff, pastiche or even celebration of those sounds.

Despite a slow start (Silence Kid is good but not great; 70s powerpop vibes meet scratchy vocals and riffs played with reckless abandon, although the mid-song tempo change is like a sledgehammer to the balls, and Elevate Me Later is much the same except for a wonderful false ending) the album soon begins to take flight, and confirm all the buzz of the critics. 

Stop Breathin' is brilliantly produced. Even within all the instrumental noise, Malkmus' vocal seems to occupy its own clear space, and when his vocal gives way to the song's intense second movement, the tension is tightened like a drum. Cut Your Hair is top drawer stuff, with a lyrical theme that seems to target those who critique big hair as representing the worst musical excesses of the 1980s, while musically, the drony choir of guitars are never obtrusive and there's a great drumbreak by the impressive Steve West. It's such a visceral, energetic track that when the comparatively mellow Newark Wilder arrives, with its smooth, jazzy drumming and withdrawn guitars, it provides respite.

Which lasts for approximately one song as the powerful, ballsy Unfair blazes its way into your ears, with abrasive guitar riffery and Malkmus' half bellow/half wail. From there, the high quality is maintained with only a minor dropoff. Gold Soundz probably isn't the ULTIMATE SONG OF THE 90s (good work Pitchfork) - hell I don't even think it's the ULTIMATE SONG OF Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain! It is however an upbeat, jangly tune with clever lyrical turns of phrase.  5-4=Unity (so named for its time signature) is a highly intriguing sonic adventure, where Pavement turn into some sort of indie/jazz fusion band with a splash of avant-garde thrown in (just listen to the repetitive piano meanderings and the dissonant guitar melodies). For sheer chutzpah in including such an out-of-place track (and for doing a good job with it) Pavement deserve praise. They also deserve praise for the fantastic yet folky Range Life (Malkmus offers sage yet honest wisdom on the life of a touring musician, and does it in an old-school folk style, with a vocal that's worldweary, while the music continues the 70s rock vibe) and the jarring, grating Hit The Plane Down (written by guitarist Scott Kannberg, and featuring a rather ingenious guitar effect that sounds like a recording of a car creating the Doppler effect).

Yet it's on the final track, Fillmore Jive, where the brilliance of Pavement is laid bare in all its messy, filthy, creative glory. At almost seven minutes, it's by far the longest track on the album, but what a track; Malkmus and co create a jam track in the finest traditions of 70s bands like The Grateful Dead and Pink Floyd's early 70s work, yet in the lyrics seem to be crying out for this style of music to be left alone; it's rock and roll crying out to have a rest, burned out on thirty years of overexposure ("I need to sleep/I need to sleep/Why won't you let me sleep?" and "Goodnight to the rock and roll era" being the two major examples). The chosen 70s jam rock style acts as a final hurrah even while rock and roll is begging for peace. It's the most terrible timekeeping you've ever heard, and I haven't heard so many flubbed drum fills in my entire life, and some of the solos and riffs are really just fiddly noise, and yet it affirms everything I love about music, that it's the passion and the carefree nature that sometimes creates the greatest work.

The Verdict

Don't believe everything the critics said - this isn't a perfect album. Some of the musicianship is decidedly average and Malkmus, while a stunningly good songwriter and lyricist, is not a particularly good singer (though in a kind of Wayne Coyne way, it fits the music rather well.) Additionally, the first two songs are good but not great, and consequently it takes time to hit its straps.

So it's not perfect but it's a terrifically cohesive body of work, where most of the songs are great (if not brilliant) slices of art. In my view this is what indie music, the really experimental fuck conformity indie music, should sound like.

My rating: 8.9/10

Standout Tracks

Fillmore Jive

Range Life

Cut Your Hair

Album #146: Little Birdy - Bigbiglove

Little Birdy

Bigbiglove (2004)

There must have been something in the porridge in the Steele household twenty or so years ago. Luke Steele has carved out a name for himself in the Australian music scene, firstly as leader of The Sleepy Jackson, but more recently as the creative force behind dreamy popsters Empire Of The Sun. His little sister Katy also made a name for herself as the lead singer and chief songwriter of Perth band Little Birdy, who arrived on the scene in a big way with 2004's Bigbiglove. 

The album not only did well on the charts, but it also sent two songs to the Hottest 100 for 2004 and attracted decent critical approval. It's also the only album the band released that has a real 'old-school' feel, where the overall sound is that of melody, harmony and pop-tinged indie rock. Later albums saw the band go a bit more electronic and experimental, and in my view their sound suffered as a result, making Bigbiglove their best album.

Why is that, and what do you need to know about it? Well, read on, and find out.....

The Album 

Little Birdy never hit any major heights, though they did okay, chart wise. It's a parallel for the experience of listening to Bigbiglove. At no stage is there anything that blows you away, nor is there anything amazingly outstanding, but it's all quite okay, listenable indie rock with pop influences. It would be fair to say that if it wasn't for Katy Steele, the album would not be as pleasant as it is, because her vocals are a real highlight, showing a great range as well as an impressive depth of emotion. Added to that is her gift for writing a good hook, as well as a decent lyrical ability, and she makes the album what it is.

Disappointingly, some songs are ruined by what I can only describe as a loudness issue. At times, the production is amateurish, with vocal hooks completely drowned out by overly loud guitars. You can get away with that if you're a metal band, or guitars are a vital part of your sound, or if you don't really rely on hooks in your music. Unfortunately, Little Birdy do rely on hooks, and they're not a metal band, so where the music needs room to breathe, and the vocals need to be heard, this doesn't always happen. This means that songs like Come On Little Heartbreaker, Tonight's The Night and Losing You end up far harsher on the ears than was probably the band's intention.

Where the melodies and hooks are given room to come through, the songs show a good level of songcrafting. On opener Excited (the one song where you could forgive the producer for turning up the guitars) there's snarl and bite in the riffs, and a ballsy rocker is offset by Steele's high pitched birdsong. Beautiful To Me is a lovely pop track, helped by a softer production touch. All the instruments blend together gently, while Steele sails over the top with a great vocal...and there's even a nice slide guitar motif. The underrated Forever does have some incredibly annoying synth strings (though they are bright and breezy, as is Steele) but when they give way, the song proper is a good indie pop track that manages to steer clear of most pop cliches (especially with the inclusion of a slide guitar solo and a rather scratchy, staccato guitar riff in the second verse). Closing track Andy Warhol is also interesting, serving as the most 'underground indie rock' tune of the album, with its guitars calling to mind the 90s indie sound.

Counteracting that are a few tracks that struggle to justify their inclusion on the album. Close To You is moody, bleak navel gazing that refuses to engage on any real level, plodding along to an inevitable conclusion; It's A Rule For You All is painful crap, a piano waltz with a fucking calliope (A CALLIOPE) blaring away like it's Sunday night at the circus; and It's All My Fault tries to tackle pop balladry but comes off as an incredibly poor recreation of Jealous Guy, with none of the feeling and even less of the skill.

The Verdict

Bigbiglove is a middle of the road album from a middle of the road band. As a vehicle for the talents of Katy Steele, it does a decent job - she is, as I said earlier, the album's standout - but as an overall listen, it scarcely breaks though the barrier of mediocre. There are moments of fleeting promise, while others are sadly ruined by poor production.

My rating: 5.7/10

Standout Tracks

Beautiful To Me

Forever

Excited

Album #145: Big Star - #1 Record

Big Star

#1 Record (1972)

Big Star are contenders for the greatest band that never was. It must be something to do with 70s power pop icons, because they, like Badfinger, were desperately unlucky not to ascend to musical royalty. Where Badfinger were ripped off by an unscrupulous toolbag of a 'manager', Big Star's unintended downfall came at the very start of their career, as a consequence of being signed to a clueless record label (Stax Records) who could not adequately promote or distribute their debut album, #1 Record (and by 'could not adequately promote or distribute', I mean 'actually did not really bother promoting or distributing'.) Fans were unable to buy copies because there weren't enough at stores, and the label made no attempts to gain radio airplay.

When the band themselves got their material to the attention of radio stations, and people began to sit up and take notice, the shit really hit the fan, because the lack of availability really hit home. To top it all off, when Stax signed a distribution deal with Columbia Records, rather than this being the catalyst for copies of #1 Record to fly off the shelves, Columbia actually pulled copies off record store shelves because they refused to deal with independent record stores that Stax had previously dealt with themselves.

In short: it was a clusterfuck, and an album where every song was described as a possible single ended up only selling about 10 000 copies. This actually caused the band's demise; the band's main creative force, Chris Bell, left, suffering depression; bass player Andy Hummel wasn't far behind, and after three poorly selling yet rather good albums, Big Star were gone.

They were later to have a revival, as indie kids and major acts of the 80s publically celebrated the band's work, but sadly this came too late for Bell and Hummel; Bell died in a car accident, aged just 27, while Hummel left the band after their second album.

Without further ado, today we explore the band's debut album and find out what all the fuss was about.

The Album

Magnificently lush, loaded up with hooks aplenty and enough vocal harmonies to fill a Beatles album, #1 Record is everything that reviewers - contemporary and recent - said it was. The statement that 'every cut could be a single', made in a Billboard review, is accurate, though not every song would be a great single, in truth. The key is the incredible sense of melody and harmony that the band has, in particular Bell, whose guiding hand was at the helm of production here, and for whom it appears Beatlesesque sounds were second nature.

Additionally, many people overuse the term Beatlesesque - I know, I'm one of them - but #1 Record absolutely deserves the term. It picks up where Abbey Road left off and is all the better for it, both in terms of the quality of production and the immensely beautiful sound of the album. Bell and Alex Chilton deserve nothing but praise for their incredible vocal harmonies, even if on their lead tracks, Bell is for mine the better singer, with a greater range and a sweeter timbre.

Trying to pick standout songs is tough because almost every song has something to recommend it. Feel's dry, compressed, scratchy guitar riffs are a counterpoint to the monstrously lush harmonies, while saxophone and organ add extra flavour to the punchy pop/rock. The Ballad of El Goodo sees Chilton do an eerily accurate impression of George Harrison on vocals, while the chorus is pure Beatles as Chilton and Bell harmonise. The band goes full-on powerpop on the very British Invasion In The Street (with a bluesy riff and a sitar-sounding lead break), the snarling When My Baby's Beside Me (even if Chilton downplays the snarl with a pure, sweet pop vocal) and on the rollercoaster dynamics of My Life Is Right, with gentle verses and smashing choruses. There's even a harder rocking tune in the surprising, but brilliant, Don't Lie To Me; its muscular riff, classy lead guitar breaks, driving rhythm and gutsy, rougher vocals from Bell being the main features.

When Big Star go ballad, it seems to be an invitation to turn up the Lush-O-Meter. Some, like the George Harrison inspired stylings of Try Again and the straightforward Give Me Another Chance, are stunning. The former in particular is superb, not just thanks to all the wonderful vocals and lush acoustic guitars, but the addition of a fantastic slide guitar part. The latter is somewhat similar, with dual acoustics providing a beefy but beautiful aesthetic, and Bell's falsetto backing vocal supports Chilton's lower tones to perfection. Thirteen also has those lush acoustics, but vocally it takes a simpler path, with Chilton alone, his voice lightly echoed, matching the lyrical theme of reflection on youth and celebration of simpler times.

The album though just confirms the tragedy of Big Star. Bell and Chilton were, on this evidence, one hell of a potential songwriting team, and it's upsetting to think that record label fuckwittery is what ensured the pair would produce just one single album as a creative partnership.

The Verdict

Sometimes it's rather au fait to pump up the tyres of 'lost' artists and recordings (think Nick Drake or Tim Buckley as examples), and inflate their value because, in true music hipster style, you want people to think that you're the gatekeeper to some far out musical world; or because the artist (usually tragically prevented from doing anything else) is no longer around, and their material was ignored upon release. It's like a form of musical archaeology, really; people finding forgotten artists and finding their material like it's the Ark of the Covenant, you're Indiana Jones and all those other people who don't get it are Belloq.

The point of that rather tortured analogy is to say that my concern before listening to #1 Record was that it would not live up to the rather overwhelming platitudes it's received, particularly in the years following the band's demise from people who were falling over themselves to namedrop the band.

Yet it appears those people were correct (as, to be fair, people were with Nick Drake). #1 Record is amazing. It's another example of pop music as it used to be - brilliantly crafted, expertly performed and delightfully lush. Frankly, Stax Records deserve to be thought of as fools based on this album, because they had an absolute goldmine on their hands and threw it away.

Worse than that, they denied people the opportunity to experience the talents of Chris Bell....which in turn denied Bell the opportunity to explore his talent. Still, this album stands as a testimony to both his love of the British sound and his attention to pop music detail.

I'm glad I heard it. I guarantee it's staying in my collection.

My rating: 9.3/10

Standout Tracks

Try Again

In The Street

Don't Lie To Me

The Ballad of El Goodo

"Album" #144 : The Eurovision Song Contest 2014 Super Special Part One!

The Eurovision Song Contest Super Special

Part One (2014)

Oh come on, you all knew this had to happen, right?

Eurovision is a guilty pleasure. There's something oddly comforting in the consistency of Eurovision - at least, the consistency in providing the cheesiest of musical experiences, as well as the sheer enjoyment of watching countries (particularly those in the Eastern Bloc) who are still trying to play catchup with the Western world, and are sending artists who are still stuck in 1995.

A recap of this year's contest was requested; I was already planning it but the request confirmed it needed to happen. For convenience I have split the 37 participating songs into two parts, based on finishing positions (the semi-final losers - yes, you read that correctly, the songs NOT EVEN GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE FINAL OF EUROVISION) have been ranked based on points scored. Additionally, my reviewing will be different: each song will have a brief comment and a score out of 10.

Part One is today; Part Two will follow in a few days time because nobody should have to listen to 37 Eurovision songs straight through. Part One features songs 37 to 19. The scum of the competition. The lowest of the low. The shittiest songs according to the people of Europe.

Hold onto your hats.

The Songs And Verdicts And General Observations

37th - Cristina Scarlat (Moldova) with  Wild Soul

You are the worst song in Eurovision 2014 for a reason. Your husky vocals and overblown synthesiser effects do not distract us from the boredom within. 2/10

36th - The Shin and Mariko (Georgia) with Three Minutes to Earth

I guess there's just no room at Eurovision for Georgian scat singing jazz. Which is a shame because this song features some very nice flamenco-style acoustic guitar work. Unfortunately apart from that and a key change there's not much happening. 6/10

35th - Mei Finegold (Israel) with Same Heart

Is it rock? Is it pop? Is it EDM? Nobody knows, least of all the husky-voiced (there's a theme this year kids) Mei Finegold. 3/10

34th - Hersi (Albania) with One Night's Anger

Hersi is a rather talented singer. Albania decide to channel the spirit of Evanescence, all ANGRY GOTH/SYMPHONIC METAL RIFFS and FUCK YEAH GUITAR SOLOS. The result is decent but it's never gonna win DancePopOVision. 6/10

33rd - Axel Hirsoux (Belgium) with Mother

Firstly, Axel is a DUDE. Secondly, he's a dude with a SERIOUSLY FUCKING GOOD VOICE. Thirdly, OPERATIC NONSENSE HAS NO PLACE AT EUROVISION, BELGIUM. NO. PLACE. 3/10

32nd - Aarzemnieki (Latvia) with Cake To Bake

These are the lyrics. You should read them.

I think they're joking. I hope they're joking. 1/10. (Unless they're joking. In which case, 1.1/10.)

31st - Tijana (Macedonia) with To The Sky

David Guetta outsources his rich, expansive dance production style to somebody with absolutely zero talent whatsoever. Nothing at all happens whatsoever in three minutes which is a fucking achievement in itself for a dance music track. 0/10

30th - Can-Linn ft. Kasey Smith (Ireland) with Heartbeat

HEY LOOK WE ARE IRISH AND WE USED TRADITIONAL IRISH INSTRUMENTS WE ARE TRULY IRISH CELTIC IRISH IRISH but we drowned them out with huge drony synthesiser chords and PHAT KLUB BEATZ so you can't hear them oh well. 2/10

29th - Tanja (Estonia) with Amazing

Wins the award of Biggest Song Misnomer At Eurovision this year. Still, Tanja is an amazing singer, one of the best in the competition in my view, so three bonus points for that. 3/10

28th - Vilija (Lithuania) with Attention

You got it for about an eighth of a second, then lost it forever. The obsession with WOW LOUD EDM SYNTH CHORDS WOOWWWWW is wearing very thin. 0/10

27th - Suzy (Portugal) with Quero Ser Tua

Bouncy fun dancepop WITH AN ACCORDION. DANCE MUSIC. WITH AN ACCORDION. 5/10

26th - TWIN TWIN (France) with Moustache

Merde. -12/10

25th - Tinkara Kovac (Slovenia) with Round And Round

FLUTE SOLO!!! YEAH!!! Followed by......um.......  3/10

24th - Valentina Monetta (San Marino) with Maybe

Starts off nice as a sombre piano ballad but then it remembers HEY IT'S EUROVISION and in come the sweeping strings and DEEP EDM BEATZ YO. Not completely shit but still pretty shit. 4/10

23rd - Firelight (Malta) with Coming Home

I WILL WAIT I WILL WAIT FOR YOU to vote for this thinking it's Mumford and Sons. A decent stab at neo-folk with some enchanting (and magnificent) vocal performances. One of the better songs in the whole contest and rollicking good fun. 7/10

22nd - Dilara Kazimova (Azerbaijan) with Start A Fire

Another example of stunning voice, lame song. The arrangement is melodramatic, and really their best bet would have been to let Dilara sing a capella because HOLY CRAP SHE IS GOOD. 5/10

21st - Emma (Italy) with La mia citta

It's a pop rock song for thirty seconds, just long enough to get you interested, before BAM! You cop a load of creamy EDM SYNTH in the face and the song is ruined beyond redemption. 3.5/10

20th - Freaky Fortune ft RiskyKidd (Greece) with Rise Up

Nobody's rising up at this piece of shit. 2/10

19th - Sergej Cetkovic (Montenegro) with Moj svijet

You're a smooth motherfucker, Sergej, I'll give you that, crooning your way through this tender, mildly folky ballad. 5/10

There you have it, kids. Part One completed. Stay tuned for Part 2 which is supposed to have the best songs in it.

But this is Eurovision and that never happens.

Album #143: Nik Kershaw - The Riddle

Nik Kershaw

The Riddle (1984)

Begin your reading of today's review by visiting this link : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fx9SLfXAudY.

You're welcome.

Anyway, Nik Kershaw is a fairly typical example of an 80s New Wave pop star - burst onto the scene with a big hit, followed it up with a couple of smaller hits, then......gone. He still knocks about making music but his glory days are long gone. The Riddle was his second album, and it's best known for its mystifying title track.

(I also remember seeing a scarf saying NIK KERSHAW - THE RIDDLE waved around at Live Aid....yep somebody had a NIK KERSHAW SCARF and waved it football style.)

It's today's review, though I'm not sure how serious I'll be given I've listened to a glorious piece of comedy prior to reviewing it....

The Album

The 1980s have a lot to answer for.

For example, allowing this to be successful.

The Riddle is 42 minutes of TRIPLE SYNTH MASTERY, where Kershaw may or may not be on a flat bed truck (you don't get this, do you? YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO THE LINK ABOVE, DID YOU?) There are sparing moments of quality, where it seems like Kershaw actually knows what he's doing, but on the whole it's horrible, dated crap.

Those few positive moments are specks of gold in a river of shit. The Riddle is a genuinely great New Wave pop song; a really catchy guitar/synth riff that repeats throughout the song's choruses, and a decent vocal from Kershaw, who is certainly a capable singer. The lyrics are nonsensical but deliberately so, and pleasingly there's no great mystery or hidden metaphor - it's a guide vocal that was never changed, and it goes well with the title. Roses features some classy tuned percussion work, and on the whole it's unusually minimalist and dark in its composition (bar some typical syrupy MEGA SYNTH moments here and there). You Might is also a genuinely good tune, an upbeat tempo helping it on its way, but it's the emphasis on guitar over synth that gives it a real edge, because the guitars have plenty of bite and underpin the song, while the synths act as a textural accompaniment.

Honourable mentions must also go to Easy and Wide Boy, both decent, catchy slices of synth pop with nice hooks and plenty of pep.

The stinkers though are deplorable. The worst by far is Save The Whale, a six minute treatise about (you guessed it) saving the whale (though I fail to see what good saving a single whale is - what about the rest, Kershaw? NAH FUCK THEM I GUESS.) Musically it's a dirge, with a plodding tempo and 'synth' whale song notes, while lyrically it contains such gold as, "In turquoise inner space/the giants live with grace", and "Jesus Christ Almighty/Save the whale/For all our sakes/Save the whale". City of Angels is dull and uninspired, sounding like a cheap show tune rip off that's been 'updated' to the 1980s, Wild Horses is cliche incarnate, Know How decides the key to WOWING US is with thirty-five WALLS OF SYNTHS all on top of each other (answer: it's not) and Don Quixote is poorly produced noise (I mean come on. I get you want TRIPLE SYNTH MASTERY but when you can't hear the vocals over all of your synths you're probably fucking up your production of the album.

The Verdict

Stay in the 1980s, Mr. Kershaw. That's where you belong. Avoid this album apart from a few tracks.

My rating: 4.2/10

Standout Tracks

The Riddle

You Might

Roses

Album #142: Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble - Texas Flood

Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble

Texas Flood (1983)

In the early part of the 1980s, it was fair to say that blues music as a popular style was in a bit of trouble. Many of the genre's luminaries from the 30s to the 60s were either dead, in the mists of obscurity or no longer playing blues music. There were a few artists still playing blues music in the mainstream consciousness (ZZ Top, for one), but as a whole, the genre seemed to have lost relevance, its importance to the development of rock music largely forgotten.

However, just when it seemed all was lost, there were a couple of albums that suddenly reinvigorated the blues scene and brought it to life again. While most of the credit for kickstarting the return of the blues has to go to ZZ Hill's Southern blues release Down Home Blues, the 1983 emergence of Texas bluesman Stevie Ray Vaughan must also attract some thanks. The younger brother of another legendary American bluesman, Jimmie Vaughan, SRV had floated around a number of bands before forming his backing group, Double Trouble, in the late 70s. It took five years and several lineup changes before SRV and Double Trouble (consisting of bassist Tommy Shannon and drummer Chris Layton) grabbed everybody's attention with their debut album, Texas Flood.

Though Vaughan and Double Trouble had smashed their way into view with a legendary set at the 1982 Montreux Jazz Festival, and although Vaughan had guested rather brilliantly on David Bowie's Let's Dance album, it was Texas Flood that announced Vaughan as a bluesman to watch.

The Album

Texas Flood is an album of two halves. The first half is supremely performed Texas blues, with elements of 50s rock and roll and rockabilly thrown in, and the three musicians in unbelievable form; the second half is largely forgettable and struggles to maintain the interest of the listener.

Let's look at the first half first, shall we? It opens with the solid blues/50s rock fusion of Lovestruck Baby, which is where we hear Chris Layton's Texas shuffle drumbeat for the first of several times, and Vaughan's guitar playing is reminiscent of some of those old time 50s guitarists, men like Bill Haley, Buddy Holly and Scotty Moore. It's the next track, Pride And Joy, that really kicks things off though. Another shuffly drumbeat, and we enter 12-bar blues territory for the first time; Vaughan also gives the first taste of his pure blues style, with several neat solos in the intro and during the song. There's also a nice nod to the Sonny Boy Williamson classic Eyesight To The Blind in the first verse. Texas Flood serves as the first of two pure signature songs; every vocal phrase seems punctuated by Vaughan's crying axe, the solos are mindblowingly good and the crawling tempo just adds more depth to what is essentially another simple 12-bar blues. It's all about Vaughan though who produces a masterclass in blues guitar. 

Tell Me is the first half's only 'low' point; it's a solid rendition of a Howlin' Wolf original but lacks the original's grit, though Vaughan's solo is a highlight, mixing all that fretboard wizardry with some really gutsy chords, as he does on the next track, Testify. A cover of an Isley Brothers song from the 60s, the original is famous as one of Jimi Hendrix's earliest recordings, and Vaughan does a sublime job of paying tribute to Hendrix's original work while adding in touches of his own. The final track of that first superb half is the standout track on the album, and possibly Vaughan's finest work ever - the instrumental Rude Mood. Played at a stunning 264 beats per minute, it features some of the most technically gifted guitar playing you'll ever hear, along with some magnificent rockabilly shuffle drumming and insanely good basswork. Vaughan positively shreds his way through the track, and at times some of his passages leave you both breathless and speechless; I was even left amazed at just how good some of the playing was.

The remainder of the album though left me extremely cold. A version of the children's nursery rhyme Mary Had A Little Lamb seems horribly out of place on a rockin' Texas blues album, and it's not even a particularly good attempt to boot. Dirty Pool is okay; a veeeeeerry slow, steadily burning blues tune, where the pain of the lyrics suits Vaughan's throaty, gruff vocal to a T. I'm Cryin' is, I'm sorry to say, an absolute rort. I can handle blues music being derivative of others (so much of it is) and I can handle a songwriter using the same muse a number of times (this song, as is Pride and Joy and Lenny, are all about Vaughan's then wife). What I refuse to accept is when you use exactly the same song with exactly the same arrangement and exactly the same sorts of guitar solo phrases and just change the lyrics ON THE SAME DAMN ALBUM. Because I'm Cryin' is just Pride And Joy with different, more woe-is-me lyrics. That's not a mild exaggeration; that is the literal truth. THEY ARE LITERALLY THE SAME SONG. Sorry, but that's just taking the piss.

Oh and closing track Lenny is pretty boring and has nothing to recommend it, really.

The Verdict

Texas Flood is a good album by an extraordinarily gifted set of musicians, the guitarist being even more extraordinarily gifted than the others. Vaughan's reputation is fully deserved just based on this album alone. But it's not a great album when an entire section of it is either dreadful, lazy or just plain boring. You can safely listen from tracks 1-6 then ditch the rest, quite frankly.

Though those first six tracks will leave you gasping at the sheer talent of Vaughan, a man sadly taken from us too soon, though not before blazing a trail for others to follow. Whether directly or otherwise, he helped rekindle interest in the blues; it wasn't long before men of the calibre of Eric Clapton, John Lee Hooker and Gary Moore were back playing the blues.

For that alone, SRV deserves his place in the pantheon of blues heroes.

My rating: 7.0/10

Standout Tracks

Rude Mood

Texas Flood

Testify

Album #141: Michael Jackson - Off The Wall

Michael Jackson

Off The Wall (1980)

The late Michael Jackson will forever be remembered for different reasons by different people. His army of loyal fans will choose to remember only his musical legacy, his undeniable stage presence and his incredibly array of dance moves; detractors will continue to highlight his questionable personal life, in particular the child sex allegations that haunted him from 1993 until his death, and which, even today, five years after his death, are continuing as others come forward claiming Jackson abused them.

Personally, I find his alleged actions abhorrent and sickening; and yes, I am aware that technically he was never convicted of any crimes....but where there's smoke there's fire, they say, and there's so much smoke around these things (still) that it's hard to accept that Jackson was completely innocent (even if he believed he was.) However, I do not think that devalues the musical work he did, and I do believe it is possible to listen to, judge and even enjoy Jackson's music without condoning his alleged actions.

With that rather lengthy disclaimer out of the way (and I have a horrible feeling it's going to trigger some debate), today's album is Off The Wall, Jackson's fifth studio album, but his first with Epic Records, where he did his finest, most career-defining work. 

The Album

Musically, the album covers an incredible range of influences. There's pop, soul, funk, R&B and disco scattered all over the place; there's even a tender ballad to top it all off. To make the album, Jackson enlisted the help of maestro producer Quincy Jones, the man with whom, in my view, Jackson did his finest work. He also worked with Stevie Wonder, Paul McCartney and Rod Temperton (who continued to work with Jackson on his next album, Thriller), each of whom contributed songs to the album.

For Jackson himself, this was the album where he was let off the Motown hook, finally free to pursue a mature, adult approach to songcrafting and production. The results speak for themselves; Jackson proves to have a superb sense of musical craft, not to mention finally allowing himself to show the full range of his vocal abilities. It might have numerically been his fifth studio album but make no mistake - Off The Wall is the birth of Michael Jackson, King of Pop.

Opener Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough is a masterpiece - written solely by Jackson, and the first time in his career he had complete control over a solo piece. And holy crap, what a first time! Everything about this funk/disco odyssey just works - from the great strings and horn arrangements to the funky bass and disco/funk guitar...and there's Jackson's outstanding falsetto vocal for good measure. It sets the tone of the album perfectly, because it's disco/funk pretty much for the next twenty minutes. Rock With You heads more down the smooth R&B route but still has heavy elements of disco; Jackson drops his vocal back down to his usual smooth tenor and lends great gravitas to a rather good tune. Workin' Day And Night and Get On The Floor are more uptempo disco tunes; the former features some sublime horn work and a bedrock of electric piano, while the latter is a serious contender for the best track on the album; taking every conceivable cliche of disco (swales of string blasts, horns aplenty, a relentless backbeat, funk guitar) and fusing them together. The real hero though is bass supergenius Louis Johnson, whose slap bass work is not only funky as fuck but technically supreme.

The middle two tracks see a slight drop in quality and intensity. Off The Wall is a decent tune with a great hook, and more stunning bass work from Johnson; but in a rare display of compositional misstep, there's a grating falsetto shriek in the chorus which is rather offputting. Girlfriend is one of only two non-disco tunes, largely as it was penned by Paul McCartney. It's pure pop in sound and structure, but thanks to Quincy Jones it takes on more of an R&B feel. Following those is the ballad She's Out Of My Life (famous to Red Dwarf fans as the first song Dave Lister learned on the guitar), and while it continues the lull in intensity, it is an extraordinary song solely because of Jackson. It must surely rate as one of his finest vocal performances; his heart and soul pouring out of the speakers. The famous final seconds, where Jackson is breaking down in tears, are all thanks to Jones, who made the decision to leave that take in the final mix.

After this, Jackson clearly had had enough of all this wallowing, and closes by returning the aesthetic to cool disco-infused tunes. I Can't Help It is the Stevie Wonder-written tune and it's a smooth little R&B ditty with horns and electric piano aplenty; It's The Falling In Love and Burn This Disco Out close the album in much the same way it started, with funk/disco meeting R&B in a sweet, sweet fusion, even if these last two tracks don't quite have the same irresistible hookiness of the earlier songs.

The Verdict

I really, really enjoyed Off The Wall. This was my first listen to the album, although I'd heard all of Jackson's other Epic solo releases. If it wasn't for Thriller being so damn amazing I'd almost mount a case for this being the best one. Its greatest feature is that it blends the immense danceability of disco and funk music with oodles of pop sensibility, making it toetapping and entertaining.

Worth checking out.

My rating: 8.4/10

Standout Tracks

She's Out Of My Life

Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

Get On The Floor

Album #140: Elbow - Build A Rocket Boys!

Elbow

Build a Rocket Boys! (2011)

The first time I heard Lancastrian indie rockers Elbow, I didn't even know it was Elbow. A song was played on Triple J, and the vocalist sounded eerily like Peter Gabriel - so eerily like that I actually thought it was Peter Gabriel.

"Hey cool!" I thought. "I don't know this Peter Gabriel song!"

Going home to Google, I typed in a fragment of lyrics ("There's a hole in my neighbourhood/Down which of late I cannot help but fall") and found out that it wasn't a Peter Gabriel song. It had nothing to do with Peter Gabriel. It was Grounds For Divorce by Elbow. (Though I was later to find out that not only was Gabriel the idol of lead singer Guy Garvey, but that Garvey had, on occasion, sought out Gabriel's advice on music - as he did during the recording of Build A Rocket Boys!).

My interest piqued, I grabbed their album The Seldom Seen Kid and was hooked. So when followup Build a Rocket Boys!  was released in 2011, I just had to purchase it. As it's one of my favourite albums of the past few years, today's review will be more of an explanation to why I enjoy it so much.

The Album

Through its eleven tracks, Build a Rocket Boys! manages to tell a series of vignettes that deal with life and its many stages; youth, relationships (both the start and the end of them), broken hearts and even the inevitability of time defeating us all. This is done through some emotionally wrenching compositions, where musical space is paramount. Tying it all together is Garvey, whose lyrics paint the most remarkable watercolour images in the mind; and his vocals, with that now familiar Gabrielesque husk, alternate from painfully heart-tearing to an enthralling soar, without neglecting the space inbetween.

The brilliant The Birds opens the album in slow burning fashion; a guitar motif accompanied by a simple rhythm section, and Garvey's gentle vocal, covers the first half....but it's the introduction of a repeated, seemingly randomised keyboard motif that heralds the second half of the song, where strings and an energised high vocal from Garvey create a positively glorious atmosphere...not bad for a song that lyrically observes that from our perspective, it's the birds that are seemingly the only constants in our lives, observing everything. 

It's a brilliant start because it really sets the tone for the album; constant shifts in dynamics, atmospheric production and a real attention to emotional detail. Songs like Lippy Kids, The Night Will Always Win, The River and The Birds (Reprise) signify the lower points of the dynamic rollercoaster...and they're all brilliant. Lippy Kids tries to put a positive spin on adolescence, painting it as a truly glorious time of life, probably the last time you're ever truly free; musically it's dominated by a haunting piano melody, Garvey's plaintive cries and some tender, subtle strings. The Night Will Always Win is an utterly sublime piece of songwriting; emotionally draining, incredibly depressing but extraordinarily beautiful; it's quite minimalist, with only a spooky piano motif and Garvey taking centre stage, but the vocalist produces something extraordinary here that needs to be heard to be believed. The River also uses a piano melody, this one very blue in tone again, and accompanied by the wonderful Halle Youth Choir, which adds even more texture...and of course, there's more wonderful vocals from the brilliant Garvey.

Yet all of these are topped by the superb Jesus Is A Rochdale Girl. Telling the story of Garvey's first girlfriend, it's another minimalist tune, driven by Garvey's very matter-of-fact vocal that barely gets above a grumble, and lyrics that pretty much anyone who has ever moved in with a partner can relate to.

The peppier moments are on With Love, Neat Little Rows and High Ideals. The middle track is the best one here, as Elbow rediscover their muscular rock sound; a riff from Mark Potter sets the scene, matched by Richard Jupp's booming, rhythmic drums; before Craig Potter's keyboards harmonise with Garvey's vocal. The chorus is lavish and grand, with some sleigh bells as a nice percussive touch. Yet the best part is about halfway through when suddenly the atmosphere is remarkably altered; brass arrangements provide a loud, booming bottom end and the whole thing just sounds huge. With Love is probably the album's happiest sounding song, and given the subject matter and lyrics that's fairly apt; again, the Halle Youth Choir are here, but chanting in a very 'Manc' manner (according to Garvey), and its bright guitar/keys riff is very pleasant. High Ideals continues the minimalist approach in the verses, just bass, piano, light percussion and Garvey; this is punctuated by an Indian music inspired guitar motif.

When closing track Dear Friends comes to an end, after a rather poignant reflection on the nature of friendship, you're left with the ghosts of Garvey's past, as well as thoughts of your own...and the realisation that the album has done its job as a piece of art, commenting on the human condition.

The Verdict

Build a Rocket Boys! is essential listening. It doesn't have the punch or gravitas of some of Elbow's earlier work, and criticism of the album for sounding like a Garvey solo vehicle is somewhat warranted, to be fair...but it's another example of a band doing Coldplay far better than Coldplay themselves; this album actually packs an emotional punch because it does what bands like Coldplay don't - it uses subtlety and minimalism to enhance the emotive passages, rather than trying to overwhelm you with grandeur. The grand moments are there but they are used sparingly for greater effect - it's brilliant songwriting.

Not everyone's cup of tea, I'll grant you, but I think it's absolutely worth the time for those who are willing to invest time in it.

My rating: 9.0/10

Standout Tracks

The Birds

Neat Little Rows

The Night Will Always Win

Jesus Is A Rochdale Girl